"It's just interest after all—the kind of moment when you know someone from very far; listen to the steps, anticipate the move they make."

Title from: Snowpath - Jonah Yano, Clairo [Spotify | YouTube]. 

--

I always thought falling in love was a crazy thing, but I never realized how true it was until I met you.

Everything's amplified. Little things that shouldn't matter suddenly do because it was you. Small talks that could work in passing felt like sentences that defined the trajectory of what was ahead.

I came back to the same point every night—do I want this? Is this delusion? Had feelings always felt this heavy? Has everything always been this abstract?

I know it scares me, and I know it would scare you too—the second you knew.

But fate brought me here –

Insane as it sounds for someone who believes so little in the word.

And insane that I now leave everything to it.

"Maybe if I try I could sleep it off — I see you when I sleep, so I don't sleep at all."

Title from: Was It Something I Said - MyKey [Spotify | YouTube]. 

--

As someone who goes through dozens of different emotions in the span of six hours, I went through hundreds for the entirety of what we were—a hundred million of them for the time that we still chose to be together.

The bliss. The spirals. The crashes. All of it — across years, across days and nights that never ended right.

Regardless of when and where—each one, I'd still cherish.

And with you, they always felt right—even when they weren’t.

"I could've sworn I knew where I was going until my eyes met yours and saw universes, solar system— planetary words of fiction."

Title from: Driving 2.0 - Stevan, Charlie Burg [Spotify | Youtube].

--

When I look back at what happened with us — and trust me, I’ve been doing that a lot — “amusing” would be the first word that comes to mind.

Even that barely scratches the surface of how absurd the whole thing was.

A surprise. An unplanned event in a well-thought-out itinerary. One of those brief, off-script moments that weren’t supposed to leave a dent.

Walking contradictions at its best: the way you looked at me like you wanted to start something despite never intending to finish it, the way your words welcomed me in with no intention of showing me the exit, the way you treated me like I was the only working lightbulb in a hallway of broken ones but you never planned to keep on for long. 

How we crossed paths with each other felt more like a glitch that short-circuited us both instead of a spark — although let's be honest, for me, it was a full on flame. Ridiculous, be that as it may, considering how little actually happened between me and you (and your endearingly annoying face).

It probably meant nothing.

But I still replay every moment like it did. Because I needed it to.

Just in case.