"I thought that everything was changing, I loved the life that we were making."

Title from: Cheesin' - Cautious Clay, Remi Wolf, Still Woozy, Sophie Meiers, Claud, Melanie Faye & HXNS [Spotify | Youtube].

--

You are still alive with every sip of alcohol that I take.

Might be because that's when I feel most alive. Might be because that's when I am willing to digest every pill I otherwise have no willingness to swallow.

But tonight, in between my third glass of Negroni, or the fifth shot of God-knows-what that I technically didn't ask for;

you were still the first thing that popped to mind.

Come sober, come drunk,

Come rain, come shine —

yours, to be exact.

"Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you?"

Title from: Linger - Prins Thomas & Isoebel [Spotify | Youtube].

--

In my world, everything is as clear as black and white.

And in my world, where I have to take full control of everything, I decide what are the blacks and what are the whites.

Imagine my surprise, when you came in with a full set of grey.

So who's in control now, we say?

"It's just interest after all—the kind of moment when you know someone from very far; listen to the steps, anticipate the move they make."

Title from: Snowpath - Jonah Yano, Clairo [Spotify | YouTube]. 

--

I always thought falling in love was a crazy thing, but I never realized how true it was until I met you.

Everything's amplified. Little things that shouldn't matter suddenly do because it was you. Small talks that could work in passing felt like sentences that defined the trajectory of what was ahead.

I came back to the same point every night—do I want this? Is this delusion? Had feelings always felt this heavy? Has everything always been this abstract?

I know it scares me, and I know it would scare you too—the second you knew.

But fate brought me here –

Insane as it sounds for someone who believes so little in the word.

And insane that I now leave everything to it.