Title from: U - Alex Lustig, NOVAA [Spotify | YouTube].
--
Life is filled with emotional roller coaster.
Most of the time, it’s not predictable, which makes it good and bad at the same time.
I don’t like surprises - I like things to be certain and if I can get a heads up on what’s about to happen, I would be happy. I like to be prepared, I like to be in control of my own state and situation, I like when things are scheduled and neat and structured because that’s the base of every good story, in my book.
I do admit that getting something good unexpectedly feels amazing. Feels great. With the way I beat myself up and kick myself down most of the time, this happened more than I can imagine. It’s pretty much a contradiction with the paragraph I wrote above, but you know, when things are going great, it would be foolish to curse the situation, ain’t it?
On the other hand, when something bad happens out of your will, it sucks more than anything. As someone who likes things to be planned out, I tend to have expectations of how the result is going to be. And in case you didn’t know, in the words of the great Phil Dunphy, “The most amazing things that can happen to a human being will happen to you, if you just lower your expectations.”
I suck at that.
I suck at lowering my expectations.
I never like it when something bad happens out of the blue, outside of my expectations, under the radar, attacking me with no preparation. I never take it well when something bad happens, because it means I don’t prepare well and I let myself down.
Which is why I was so devastated when you walked out on us.
