"I always think of you even at this moment - without you knowing."
Title from: You Don't Know - Loco [Spotify | Youtube].
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Our separation was nowhere near present time. In my mind, the chapter was long gone, archived, and saved for future me to look back as one of the episodes I've gone through. It was no longer something within reach - no longer what I've spent a long time wondering what if if different paths were taken by me, or by both of us, or even any other person that could become a variable in our story.
I've taken what we had as a lost cause; something we both know no longer has value of dwelling and considering over - something that was just there for the sake of it, not for us to revisit just because how full it was, just like a dinner after a long day.
Many nights were spent to find ways to get over you and us out of my wondering mind.
To say that I've found the cure was nothing but a massive lie - I still saw your shadow and at least your final words whenever I had just even a few seconds to go over what I've been through in life. Everything was bittersweet, for sure; thinking about you, regardless of what we went through, always brought a smile to my face - but knowing that was long gone with no chance of repetition ever coming our way was never a pleasant truth to learn.
Of all questions that slipped my imagination of you,
I wonder the most, if this happens to you too.